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  • Connor Ewens

Fantasy Booking: Wrestlemania 29

Once in a lifetime they said. Once. The biggest match in wrestling history, John Cena vs The Rock could only happen once. Then, it happened twice. I should have gotten used to WWE lying by now. This was a mixed bag of a show but mostly it was good. Undertaker vs CM Punk stole the show, John Cena and the Rock wrestled the exact same match they had the year prior except a different finish, The Shield 6-man was good fun and Triple H vs Lesnar was very good but also long. The rest of the card was just kinda there. Also we got an ass performance by Diddy but Living Colour performing for CM Punk was cool. Here's the card:

The Shield vs Big Show, Randy Orton & Sheamus

Mark Henry vs Ryback

Team Hell No (c) vs Big E Langston & Dolph Ziggler, Tag Championships

Fandango vs Chris Jericho

Alberto Del Rio (c) vs Jack Swagger, Heavyweight Championship

Undertaker vs CM Punk

Triple H vs Brock Lesnar, No Holds Barred

The Rock (c) vs John Cena, WWE Championship

There have definitely been worse Wrestlemania's, but this had the potential to be so much more. WWE, this is how its done.

We begin with the Heavyweight title, which I refuse to be contested between notable prick Alberto Del Rio and one of the worst Heavyweight champions of all time Jack Swagger. Instead, I'd have the title make its way over to Wade Barret some time during 2012. Randy Orton walks out of Wrestlemania 28 as champion, he can drop it to Sheamus around Summerslam who can hold it until Hell in a Cell where he drops it to Big Show, who then can drop it to Barrett instead of Del Rio on Smackdown in a Last Man Standing match. Barrett's challenger will be the winner of the 2012 Royal Rumble, Chris Jericho. One of the few accolades he never achieved. Jericho wins the rumble and challenges for the Heavyweight title. These can work a good 10 minute match and I'd have the heel Barrett walk out as victor. That way he can be the heel champion that Dolph Ziggler cashes in on rather than notable prick Alberto Del Rio.

Sierra. Hotel. Indigo. Echo. Lemur. Delta. SHIELD. The hounds of justice Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns have quickly became the hottest faction in WWE in a few short months. They are challenged here by the Tag Team champions Team Hell No, Daniel Bryan & Kane, as well as Ryback. Remember Ryback? He might be the laughing stock of the wrestling business now, but he was one of the most over men in the company at one point. Don't deny it. Remember the end of Hell in a Cell 2011? He was stood on top of the Cell and the entire crowd was chanting Feed me More. He was never a great wrestler but man he had a gimmick that was over. He and Hell No try to overcome the power of the Shield, but they fail. The 3 dogs of fairness use their unmatched chemistry and dominance to drop Kane with a Triple Powerbomb for the win. A pinfall victory over the Tag Champions sets them up for a title opportunity at the next PPV, Extreme Rules.

Cesaro has reigned as the United States Champion since August of 2012 and has defeated every opponent stood in his way. As the dominant champion, he wants to prove he is the best US champion in the company. He announces a US Open challenge for Wrestlemania, former US champions are invited to try and defeat him for the belt. The challengers are Big Show, Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston and Sheamus. It's a one fall match, basically a 6-pack challenge. 10-15 minutes should be ample time for these 6 men to get their moves in. Of course I would keep the title on Cesaro who wins with an impressive Neutralizer to the Big Show. I'd still have him drop the title in that shock result for Kofi Kingston on Raw so that Ambrose can beat him for the belt at Extreme Rules because the visual of the Shield all holding gold is too good.

The first of our 3 marquee matches tonight, Randy Orton vs Brock Lesnar. This feud begins the same as it did in real life; Lesnar having ridiculous contract demands, he assaults Shawn Michaels but one thing different is Lesnar tries to break the arm of Triple H too but he is protected by Randy Orton. Hunter is injured but not as serious as it could have been. Orton talks about the tumultuous relationship between he and Triple H but he still respects him. He does not respect Lesnar who walked out on the WWE, coming back and making demands. This sets up Brock Lesnar vs Randy Orton at Summerslam which Lesnar wins, breaking Orton's arm and putting him on the shelf. Once Triple H is healed up, he returns with a vengeance and a challenge for Survivor Series, Triple H vs Brock Lesnar. Lesnar accepts and wins, this time breaking the arm of Triple H properly and putting him on the shelf. In the lead up to Wrestlemania, Paul Heyman speaks how Lesnar is an unstoppable, uncontrollable force in WWE. He is interrupted by the returning Triple H who still has his arm in a sling, he promises at Wrestlemania that he will prove that the Beast can be slayed. Heyman mocks the injured Triple H "How exactly are you going to stop the Beast with one arm when you couldn't at full health?" Triple H responds with "Because it is not me who is going to slay the beast." Out from the crowd emerges Randy Orton with a surprise RKO to Lesnar. The contract is signed and agreed to, a No Holds Barred match between the Viper and the Beast. The two men pummel each other with anything they can get their hands on. In the final third of the match, Triple H comes out holding a sledgehammer. He removes his sling, revealing a fully healed arm. He joins Orton in a 2 on 1 assault on Lesnar but even that isn't enough. Lesnar delivers an F-5 to both HHH and then Orton, he pins Orton for the 1-2...his leg is pulled away, breaking the count. He stares daggers at a man on the outside, the camera pans over and its Ric Flair. He styles and profiles a little but immediately realises the danger when Lesnar comes outside and grabs him by the scruff of his suit. Just as Lesnar is about to lift Flair onto his shoulders, we hear some familiar music. It is a Saliva song, 'I Walk Alone'. Out comes Batista, returning to WWE after a 3 year absence. He has a stare down with Brock Lesnar, a man who he has never wrestled before. Lesnar shoves him, Batista shoves him back into an RKO by Orton. Orton rolls him in the ring for a punt kick which Lesnar kicks out of at the last second. The first and only person to ever kick out of the punt. Orton winds up for a second punt and finally slays the beast. Evolution stand in the ring reunited, raising the hand of a bloodied Randy Orton. A nice little reunion for a nostalgia pop. The punt kick should stay a very protected move with no one kicking out of it, however I think Lesnar could benefit from being the only man to ever do it. He comes out of the match looking like a beast which I need because he isn't going to be the one to break the streak (spoiler for tomorrows article). There should be almost no contact between Batista and Lesnar because it is a dream match that I will be booking. This should be a little tease for everyone to think "omg are we going to see the beast vs the animal? That would be awesome." Yes, yes it would.

The crowd need a little time to regroup after that so we can have a musical performance by someone who isn't Diddy. Insert your favourite artist here! I don't care who it is as long as they give a shit about performing. The next match is a mixed tag match with two titles on the line. Women's champion AJ Lee teams up with Dolph Ziggler to face Kaitlin and the Intercontinental champion, The Miz. Honestly, just give AJ Lee the belt to hold for the longest time until Paige arrives on the main roster. Kaitlyn can beat Layla for the women's title at Night of Champions instead of Eve Torres, then AJ can beat Kaitlyn in January. The Miz can keep a hold of the title since he won it from Christian in 2012, he would have turned from a heel to a face during that time. I know, the first iteration of face Miz wasn't very good but I didn't hate it as much as the average guy. This can be a fun 10 minute tag match between 4 solid workers, probably the two best women wrestlers on the main roster. The stipulation is if either Ziggler or Kaitlyn score a pinfall win, they win the championship they're eligible for. No titles change hands however, as AJ Lee makes Kaitlyn submit to her awesome Black Widow submission move.

Our second marquee match is another challenger to try and break the Undertaker's streak, although that is not the major focus of the match. The real story here is the redemption of John Cena. I had John Cena turn heel at the end of Wrestlemania 27, then spend a full year as an arrogant dickhead until losing to the Rock at Wrestlemania 28. Now, he goes on the worst run of his career. Not like WWE said he did even though he won the Money in the Bank, the Royal Rumble and other feuds. He actually has an awful year full of L's. He fails to win titles, feuds and big matches like the Rumble and the MITB. His confidence is shot after his big loss to the Rock. He begins to question his own ability and if what the Rock said was right. Maybe he should leave and do Hollywood things. In the lead up the Wrestlemania, John Cena teases a return to being a face again, feeling remorse for the things he has done and reflecting on his career to this point. He teases saying goodbye for good, leaving his signature hat in the middle of the ring. The next week, we have the grand return of the Undertaker. You know where this is going now. He has his grand entrance but he is attacked by one of his druids. They reveal themself and of course it is little Johnny Cena. He viciously attacks the Undertaker. He later explains his actions. "The Undertaker's streak is the most legendary streak in wrestling history, and I have to be the one to break it. I NEED to. I feel like I am broken, like there is something missing. I need to prove that I am still the man around here. Undertaker, its very simple. I have to destroy you, or you have to destroy me." Essentially, John Cena is sick of how things are and needs a big change. He is hoping that if he beats Undertaker that he will have proved himself once again as the top guy, but also that if he loses then Undertaker will rid WWE of him because he is no longer what he says he is. Undertaker responds to the challenge; "John Cena, I told you a couple years back that you would pay for your sins. It is now that time. You want one of us to be destroyed at Wrestlemania? That is fine by me. I will guarantee that one of us will rest, in, peace." The biggest threat to the streak and it is not just any match. It will be a buried alive match. Undertaker and John Cena go to absolute war with each other, hitting each other with signature moves and stealing each other's big moves. The action spills out towards the ramp where the grave has been dug. Back and forth over the grave, Cena lifts Undertaker up for the AA but Taker reverses into a tombstone. He slowly lifts Cena to his feet by the throat. We see Cena nod his head with acceptance, he mouths "thank you" as he is dropped into the grave with a chokeslam. Undertaker buries Cena alive, winning the match and going 21-0. This gives Cena some time off for a couple months, I'd use this moment as a way to write him off but he can return as a babyface the challenge the top heel champion. More on that a little later on. This also means we can get an Undertaker vs John Cena match that lasts longer than 3 minutes. That would be nice.

We need a filler match to calm the crowd in between two marquee matches, so let's throw out some of WWE's tag teams with a tag title match against Hell No on the line. Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes & Damian Sandow), 3MB (Drew McIntyre & Heath Slater), The Uso's and the Prime Time Players (Darren Young & Titus O'Neil) in a 4-way tag. Give the lads enough time to showcase their talent before The Uso's score a pinfall over 3MB to win. I'd have their title match on Raw crashed by the Shield who destroy both the Uso's and Hell No. That means once Rollins & Reigns win the tag titles, their next challengers are set up in the Uso's.

Well, there is only two names left that I haven't talked about so you should know what is coming. CM Punk vs The Rock. CM Punk recaptured his WWE title at my booking of Wrestlemania 28 and he of course holds it all year round. He defends it in matches against Daniel Bryan, John Cena, Chris Jericho but as the reign goes on, he becomes increasingly more and more cult leader-like preaching about being the 'voice of the voiceless' and being the best in the world. His demand for respect becomes more forced and obnoxious and slowly the fans begin to turn on him. He brings in Paul Heyman as his manager as he slowly becomes full heel by the end of the year. His reign gets the attention of the Rock who challenges Punk to a match at Wrestlemania. Punk says "you don't deserve a thing. You're guaranteed nothing. You can earn a match with an icon like me like everyone else, by winning the Royal Rumble. The Rock does enter the rumble and makes it to the final four, however CM Punk runs out and grabs at his foot, causing a distraction and allowing him to be eliminated from the match. The Rock is pissed and uses his pull to get himself another opportunity at Elimination Chamber. He is added to the chamber match and competes against Mark Henry, Kane, Daniel Bryan, Alberto Del Rio and Big Show for a match against CM Punk at Wrestlemania. He can have a mini Nation of Domination reunion with Mark Henry. An Attitude era throwback against Kane and Big Show but the final two is Daniel Bryan and The Rock. Rocky hits his Rock Bottom for the pin and books his match against CM Punk. The promos leading to their clash can be as good as they were in real life. The Rock vs CM Punk was great at both the Rumble and EC in reality so this I expect would be just as good. CM Punk defeats the Rock in the main event of Wrestlemania and retains his WWE championship. The Rock winning the WWE title was cool and all, but he didn't need to. His presence is a big enough of a draw anyways. Punk can hold his title for another couple months Ahead of Money in the Bank, John Cena should return as a face and then challenge CM Punk, by this point Cena should have never been able to beat him in singles action. 2 years after it all started between these two, they have their last singles match and John Cena finally defeats CM Punk and becomes WWE champion. That way Punk can transition into a feud with Paul Heyman who abandons him after his title loss, also Cena can wrestle Daniel Bryan at Summerslam beginning the Yes! Movement story arc.

Here is a quick recap of the card I made:

Wade Barrett (c) vs Chris Jericho, Heavyweight Championship

The Shield vs Hell No & Ryback

Cesaro (c) vs Big Show vs Zack Ryder vs Jack Swagger vs Kofi Kingston vs Sheamus, US Championship

Randy Orton vs Brock Lesnar, No Holds Barred

AJ Lee (c) & Dolph Ziggler vs Kaitlyn & The Miz (c), IC & Women's Championships

The Undertaker vs John Cena, Buried Alive

Rhodes Scholars vs 3MB vs The Uso's vs Prime Time Players

CM Punk (c) vs The Rock, WWE Championship

How was that? CM Punk gets his Wrestlemania main event he craved, we get a banger Undertaker vs John Cena match. The card has filler still yes but I think it is more interesting filler. Let me know what you think and tune in tomorrow when we cover Wrestlemania 30, we are 3/4 of the way through all of the Wrestlemania's. Wrestlemania XXX was a banger with A LOT going on. Plenty to cover. See you then!


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