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  • Connor Ewens

Fantasy Booking: Wrestlemania 32

Fuck Wrestlemania 32. What a pain in the arse of a show this is. In a word, tedious. Here's the card:

Kalisto (c) vs Ryback, US Championship (pre-show)

Team BAD & Blonde vs Team Total Divas (pre-show)

The Uso's vs Dudley Boyz (Pre-show)

IC Championship Ladder match

Chris Jericho vs AJ Styles

New Day vs League of Nations

Brock Lesnar vs Dean Ambrose, Street Fight

Charlotte Flair vs Sasha Banks vs Becky Lynch, Women's Championship

The Undertaker vs Shane McMahon, Hell in a Cell

Andre the Giant Battle Royal

The Rock vs Erick Rowan

Triple H (c) vs Roman Reigns, WWE Championship

All of the pre-show matches were weak. The 6-man tag was boring and played second fiddle to the return of 3 Texas legends to kick the Nations ass. Lesnar vs Ambrose was a huge disappointment with barely any weapons used. Undertaker vs Shane was 30 minutes long with one memorable spot not being worth all the time wasted. The Battle Royal was mid. The Rock wins in 6 seconds to have the fastest match in Wrestlemania history, also John Cena comes back I guess. Then we have our main event, a painfully long predictable match that no one wanted to see and no one enjoyed seeing. Fuck this show. WWE, this is how its done.

So I know that this show was cursed with injuries. John Cena, Seth Rollins, Sting, Randy Orton, Cesaro, Neville, Tyson Kidd, Daniel Bryan, Nikki Bella. Lots of cancelled plans and changed booking, so whilst it is not fully WWE's fault, they still should have done far better than what we got. I'll quickly make some changes to the pre-show. There is only 2 matches instead of 3. A 6-woman match featuring Paige, Natalya, Naomi, Brie Bella, Emma and Tamina. The winner will earn a future women's championship match. Naomi gets the win and she gets a title shot on TV in the following weeks. Next, the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. With a limited roster, pack it with a mix of the main roster midcard and NXT stars. Baron Corbin can still win because why not. You can also still have the Texas legends HBK, Foley and Austin come out on the main show too, have them interrupt a heel promo by someone like Bo Dallas or something and deliver all their finishers for nostalgia pops. On with the booking.

The opener is still a 6-man ladder match for the IC title, but the line up is a little different. I'd have the defending champion by The Miz, who can defeat Dean Ambrose for the title at the end of 2015. He faces Dolph Ziggler, Tyler Breeze, Rusev, Sheamus and the eventual winner, Zack Ryder. It was a great match, one of my personal favourite IC matches. Ryder winning was a genuine surprise and it was a great moment. I definitely wouldn't have him drop the title the next day.

Next up is Kalisto defending his US championship against Kevin Owens. Owens simply wins a number 1 contender match to get here. As the bell rings, Kalisto immediately stuns Owens. He runs the ropes and goes for a "lucha thing" but Owens catches him in midair with his pop-up powerbomb finish for a quick win in under a minute. After his quick win, Owens grabs a microphone. "Wow, I have held this championship for like 10 seconds and I am already a better champion than Kalisto was. In fact, I am a better champion than anyone before me. Better than Lex Luger, better than Dean Ambrose, and sure as hell better than John Cena. I'll even prove it, I'm warmed up for another match. For one time only I am issuing a US open challenge for anyone back there who thinks they can hang with the new face of America." John Cena's music hits. He makes his return, plays the crowd before grabbing a mic himself. He does his usual spiel before revealing that he is not answering the challenge, but he wants to introduce the man who will. Out comes Sami Zayn, making his main roster debut here at Wrestlemania. I don't have to tell you about the history of these two. They have an excellent match like we know they can, Sami Zayn hits a Helluva kick to beat his former friend to win the US championship on his main roster debut. That should be a huge statement. They can continue their feud over the next few months.

Next is a 6-man tag as the Wyatt Family face the New Day. It'll be Erick Rowan and Braun Strowman because Luke Harper is injured. This is pretty much a copy and paste of their real life feud just several months earlier. The Wyatt's use their psychological tactics to strike fear into the New Day, especially Xavier Woods. Kofi Kingston and Big E do not take the challenge too seriously at first, laughing and poking fun whilst Woods is adamant they need to be serious. At Wrestlemania, we get a competitive match between both teams. Xavier Woods struggles with his fear, to the point that he freezes up whenever he comes face to face with Bray Wyatt. Woods ends up being psyched out so much by Wyatt that he leaves, almost as if he was in a trance, putting the New Day in a numbers disadvantage. Because of that, Bray Wyatt and his spooky redneck cult defeat the reigning tag team champions here. This can continue the faction feud for the next couple of months. The New Day finally getting serious to overcome the Wyatts, Xavier Woods overcoming his fears and the Wyatt Family being booked strong, unlike how they're usually booked.

The phenomenal one AJ Styles debuts at the Royal Rumble in 2016. On a Raw not long after, Styles talks about the successful journey he has been on to get to the WWE. He is interrupted by Triple H who buries the fact AJ has been a world champion anywhere else. "Being a world champion means nothing unless you are here in the WWE." In the lead up to Wrestlemania, co-COO's Stephanie McMahon and Shane McMahon (more on that later) lay out a series of challenges to really test how phenomenal AJ Styles is. He wrestles the likes of King Barrett, Alberto Del Rio, Big Show, Ryback and he beats Chris Jericho at Fastlane. After winning all of his matches, Shane and Steph says it is time to really test AJ's ability by challenging him to a match at Wrestlemania against the game, Triple H. Of course AJ accepts. They have a good 10-15 minute match, AJ Styles defeats him clean with the phenomenal forearm. Afterwards, Triple H shakes AJ's hand and holds it up in the air. Styles has earned his respect and proven he deserves to be here. The whole angle is to introduce Styles to anyone who isn't too familiar with him, including a huge rub by beating HHH clean at Wrestlemania.

Next is a 4-way elimination tag team tables match. That is a mouthful. The winners will get a future tag title shot. We have the Rhodes brothers Dustin and Cody vs The Uso's vs The Ascension vs The Dudley Boyz. For this to work, WWE need to debut the Ascension and not immediately bury them as being a shit version of the Road Warriors. They should be presented and booked as a legitimate threat, what is the point in making your longest NXT tag champions ever (at the time) a joke? This is a bit of a shmoz, the Dudleys can have their nostalgia pop before being eliminated. Overall I'd give the win to the Ascension, so that they can be in the tag title picture. I wouldn't have them win, but at least they can be viewed as an actual threat and not huge losers.

Following that we have the one unchanged match on this card which is for the newly designed women's championship. After the Bellas have their sibling rivalry over the Divas championship, Paige introduces the main roster to 3 new women. Charlotte Flair, Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks. They do not break off into two factions, they come up together and wrestle alongside each other. After Charlotte wins the Divas championship, a rift forms between Sasha and the other 2 after she failed to defeat Nikki Bella for the title but Charlotte succeeded. This leads to Sasha turning heel on Charlotte at the beginning of the year, Becky tries to stop it so Sasha drops her as well. Initially this is set to be a singles match, but then Sasha manipulates Becky by asking why Charlotte was the one pushed to challenge Nikki and not her. Becky Lynch eventually feels she needs to prove something to herself and she also challenges Charlotte for the title. We also still get the new women's championship design, although maybe it doesn't have to be a giant corporate logo. The triple threat goes down like it did, Charlotte retaining in one of the best women's matches in WWE history at the time. Not a hard feat considering the history.

After over 25 years and 2 back to back losses at Wrestlemania, the Undertaker is seriously considering his last ride. There is little left for him to do and he thinks that WWE can move forward without him. Chris Jericho comes out an initially appeals to Taker, showering him with praise and respect, before verbally bashing him. He insults Taker, calling him an old shell of his former self. "You used to scare the entire locker room away with your presence. Now, you are a novelty. You are a joke. An old relic that we all forget about until April comes around when Vince McMahon wheels you out for a cheap nostalgia pop." Undertaker guzzles Jericho, goes for a chokeslam but it is countered into a codebreaker. Chris Jericho doesn't want Undertaker to ruin his own legacy, that is why at Wrestlemania he is going to retire Undertaker himself. The streak may be gone, but Jericho's legend will be even greater if he is the one to retire the biggest icon in wrestling. The match is made, if Undertaker loses here, he must retire. They have a competitive match with plenty of near falls, call backs to feuds and rivals of the past. Jericho even tries a Sister Abigail to emulate how the streak was broken at Wrestlemania XXX. In the finish, Undertaker fights out of the Walls of Jericho, transitions into his own Hells Gate submission and Jericho taps out. Undertaker finally gets another win at Wrestlemania and he doesn't have to retire, for the time being.

At the start of 2016, Vince McMahon makes a rare TV appearance and thanks daughter Stephanie for he work as the COO of the company. Triple H is focused on his work in NXT and Stephanie has stepped up, but Vince thinks that she could be doing better. He has brought in an extra hand, someone to help Steph run things as a power duo. That is when Shane McMahon makes his WWE return. He says he has big plans for the WWE now that he is back and his first big play is making heel WWE champion Roman Reigns defend his title in the Royal Rumble. To prevent anything happening like the previous year, if you remember I booked Reigns to win the rumble after being eliminated without being noticed, Shane will be sat at ringside himself. I'll cover the details of all of this a little later, but I'll tell you what you need to know. Brock Lesnar enters the rumble and is close to eliminating Reigns when Shane slides him and pulls Roman off his shoulders. He kicks Brock in the cock and balls, helping Roman eliminate him and turning heel. He set up the rumble to benefit Reigns. He made him enter at number 1, but Reigns is taken away on a stretcher early in the match due to injury. The injury was fake however, Reigns just got a nice 45-50 minute break and came back feeling fresh. Shane explains that he sees Roman as the star he is, he should be the face of this company, not Rollins or Ambrose or Lesnar. Brock Lesnar is the angriest boulder of meat that has ever existed. With Shane's antics causing Brock to lash out at anyone in the company, Stephanie blames Shane for his rampage and comes to an agreement with Lesnar to make peace. Lesnar gets a match with Shane at Wrestlemania and it will be Falls Count Anywhere. Once he has his match, he leaves Shane and everyone else alone. No more angry rampaging. Paul Heyman cannot guarantee Lesnar won't beat up anyone he wants, but he knows that Lesnar will be satisfied after murdering Shane McMahon. At Wrestlemania, Shane tries to run away as much as he can but he cannot resist when he sees Lesnar stumble and clutch his knee. He goes down to take advantage, but Brock was faking it and he HOOFS Shane in his cock and balls, getting some revenge. Lesnar destroys Shane with suplexes and chairs all over the ringside area and entranceway. Shane tries to escape up to a platform, but he is cornered by the Beast 20 feet high in the air. Lesnar says "bye bye" and he throws Shane off, crashing through a set up of tables and disguised crash mats below. Lesnar pins him to win, Shane gets his ridiculous spot and we don't have to sit through a 30 minute bore to see it.

After failing to win the WWE championship at Wrestlemania 31, Roman Reigns continues to feud in the main event scene, failing to win the title again at Payback in the 4-way match. Reigns enters the Money in the Bank match and he actually is the one to win the MITB briefcase, though by devious means, like when he won the rumble. As Ziggler makes the climb, Reigns low blows him and climbs up for the win himself. He still does not turn heel and again he seems to show remorse for taking the low road to success. Due to this he offers Ziggler a singles match with the briefcase on the line, which Reigns wins. Reigns then decides to cash in his briefcase ahead of time at Night of Champions, he will face Seth Rollins instead of Sting. He does this because he thinks it is a righteous thing to do, something that a hero would do. Rollins retains his championship again, Reigns again comes up short. After Rollins' injury, we have the WWE title tournament culminating with Dean Ambrose vs Roman Reigns at Survivor Series. Reigns hits him with everything but Ambrose refuses to quit. Reigns gets angrier and angrier until he realises what he must do. The referee is accidentally taken out, though it looks a bit intentional on Reigns part. Roman grabs a chair from the outside and he whacks it across Ambrose's back over and over and over and over and over again. One last spear, 1-2-3. Reigns finally turns heel and he also finally wins the WWE championship. Reigns says that for the last year, he has struggled choosing whether he needs to be the good guy or the bad guy. He has been listening to the fans, the wrestlers and management on what he should do. That stops, he doesn't care what anyone thinks and he is done trying to appease others. He is not a bad guy, but he is not a good guy. He is THE guy. I always loved that quote from him, its perfect for a heel character. Ambrose is gunning for revenge but Reigns keeps ducking him. Then Shane McMahon returns, he books the rumble match for the WWE title which was revealed as a ploy all along between Reigns and Shane. After Shane is chased off by the eliminated Brock Lesnar, we eventually get down to the final two in the match. Reigns and Ambrose. Without Shane, Reigns has no advantage. We have a mini match within a match, it looks like Reigns has the match won but Ambrose counters a clothesline into one of his own. Both men tumble over the top rope, but one man manages to hold on to the ropes. The winner of the match...AND NEWWWWW WWE Champion; Dean Ambrose. Reigns wants his title back, and Ambrose wants revenge so it is in their best interests to have a match at Wrestlemania and it'll be no disqualifications. Reigns tries to say it is not personal, but Ambrose knows it is. Reigns is jealous that both Ambrose and Rollins made it as stars whilst Reigns never got over like they did. "The only way you were going to be cheered by the fans was if you had one of us alongside you." Their match in the Wrestlemania main event is an absolute brawl. A modern day Steve Austin vs The Rock as both men pull out all the stops to try and defeat each other. Ambrose gives his all but unfortunately it is not enough. Reigns catches him with a killer spear and defeats his former shield partner to win his second world title. I'd make it a point made by commentary to say that Ambrose has never been able to defeat Roman Reigns in a singles match. A story that I'll carry on in the future.

A quick recap of the card I booked here:

Paige vs Natalya vs Naomi vs Brie Bella vs Emma vs Tamina (pre-show)

Andre the Giant Battle Royal (pre-show)

IC Championship Ladder match

Kalisto (c) vs Kevin Owens, US Championship

Kevin Owens (c) vs Sami Zayn, US Championship

Wyatt Family vs New Day

AJ Styles vs Triple H

Rhodes Brothers vs The Usos's vs Dudley Boyz vs The Ascension, Elimination Tables match

Charlotte Flair (c) vs Sasha Banks vs Becky Lynch, Women's Championship

The Undertaker vs Chris Jericho, Retirement match

Brock Lesnar vs Shane McMahon, Falls Count Anywhere

Dean Ambrose (c) vs Roman Reigns, No DQ for WWE Championship

I absolutely think this is a superior card to what we really got. Better matches, better angles, better surprises and a main event people actually want to watch. Did you like it? Lemme know your thoughts and return tomorrow when I talk about Wrestlemania 33. We are entering the time where Wrestlemania becomes ridiculously long and exhausting to watch. See you then!


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