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  • Connor Ewens

Fantasy Booking: Wrestlemania 38

We only have 2 more shows to talk about before we arrive at possibly the most star studded Wrestlemania of all time. So let's talk about Wrestlemania 38, where the best thing on the show was a comedy match featuring Johnny Knoxville. No really though, it was wasn't it? Here's the card:

Night 1

The Uso's (c) vs Shinsuke Nakamura & Rick Boogs, SD Tag Championships

Drew McIntyre vs Happy Corbin

The Miz & Logan Paul vs Los Mysterios

Becky Lynch (c) vs Bianca Belair, Raw Women's Championship

Cody Rhodes vs Seth Rollins

Charlotte Flair (c) vs Ronda Rousey, SD Women's Championship

Steve Austin vs Kevin Owens, No Holds Barred

Night 2

RK-Bro (c) vs Street Profits vs Alpha Academy, Raw Tag Championships

Bobby Lashley vs Omos

Sami Zayn vs Johnny Knoxville, Anything Goes

Carmella & Queen Zelina (c) vs Sasha Banks & Naomi vs Liv Morgan & Rhea Ripley vs Natalya & Shayna Baszler, Women's Tag Championships

Edge vs AJ Styles

Sheamus & Ridge Holland vs New Day

Pat McAfee vs Austin Theory

Mr McMahon vs Pat McAfee

Roman Reigns (c) vs Brock Lesnar (c), WWE & Universal Championships

Oh great another Reigns vs Lesnar match no one wanted, an awful yet hilarious Mr McMahon match, a distasteful squash loss for the New Day mere months after Big E's career threatening injury. Stuff like Zayn vs Knoxville, Austin vs Owens, Belair vs Lynch, Cody Rhodes' return is all amazing but they struggle to save this shown from being a bit average. WWE, this is how its done.

Wrestlemania is hosted by Kevin Owens, who hates Texas. He spends every moment he can throughout the show throwing insults at Texas.

The opening match of Wrestlemania weekend is a ladder match for the Intercontinental championship. Remember when we used to get yearly Wrestlemania ladder matches? Good times. The IC champ going into Wrestlemania was Ricochet and he can defend against Seth Rollins, Chad Gable, The Miz, Shinsuke Nakamura and...Pat McAfee. I like Pat, he's a lot of fun and he has some in-ring talent. I think he could thrive in a ladder match amongst good company, I don't want to see him fight Austin Theory or Vince McMahon. Ricochet can be relied on for some wacky spots, McAfe can probably do a couple too. The other 4 lads I'm fully confident would bring a lot to the match too. I would actually have The Miz win this match and big this up as him tying the record for most ever IC championship reigns, because Miz has deserved such an accolade. He can hold it until Gunther is here to win the title and hold it forever.

"If The Miz is in the IC ladder match, what about Logan Paul?" I will tell you my Prime-drinking friend. I would actually have Logan's tag match take place at the Royal Rumble where he can impress everyone with his natural in-ring ability and win his first WWE match. In the lead up to Wrestlemania, Logan brags about how he is born to do this, he is a "Maverick" and all of that annoying bollocks he says, because he is genuinely a great heel. He is cut off by AJ Styles, who is fuming about the reception Logan has receive. Styles talks about the dues he has paid, the decades of work he has put in to get where he is. He calls Logan a trash human being who thinks his clout will ascend him to the top of the WWE. "That ain't happening on my watch kid." Styles wants to prove that Logan's impressive showing was just a flash in the pan, he can't really hold his own against someone as phenomenal as him. This sets up Styles vs Paul at Wrestlemania. Give them like 15 minutes to work a great match, if anyone can make sure Logan looks as good as possible it is someone like AJ. Logan impresses like he always does, but the veteran Styles defeats him with the Styles Clash. After the match, AJ reluctantly shakes Logan's hand as if to say " yeah, you're pretty good." Fuck you Logan Paul for being an asshole but also incredible at Pro Wrestling.

Going into Wrestlemania, the US champion is Finn Balor who should have defeated Damian Priest for the title. Priest is gunning for a rematch, he is still a face but shows some darker sides to his character whilst Balor is full heel. During their rivalry though, other challengers try to step up like your Austin Theory's, your Sheamus', your Bobby Lashley's and what not. Priest and Balor decide to work together to clear out any other challengers so it is just them. They realise that they actually have some chemistry together as a team. They are still rivals though, and at Wrestlemania Finn Balor defeats Priest to retain his championship. Balor can later drop the title to Bobby Lashley, then he and Priest officially form an alliance as Priest turns heel after recognising their chemistry together. Then they bring in Rhea Ripley into the fold, later Dominik Mysterio and the Judgement Day is formed. Edge was unfortunately not a good fit for the faction.

The Hurt Business should have never broken up, they were such a sick faction. So for this, the Hurt Business are still together and they have added Omos to their ranks. Leading to Wrestlemania the faction get into a feud with the European lads Sheamus, Ridge Holland and Pete Dunne (NOT BUTCH), the Brawling Brutes. Both Sheamus and Lashley were gunning for the US championship and butted heads over becoming a contender. The feud spiralled out of control as their allies got involved, backing each other up and targeting their rivals with backstage attacks. Sheamus then draws the battle line and lays out the challenge for a Good Ol' Fashioned Donnybrook fight at Wrestlemania. Basically, it is a street fight with some props like we're in a bar fight. It is a 6-man brawl with plenty of hardcore fun. Lashley, Alexander and Benjamin are the legal wrestlers but both MVP and Omos make their presence known essentially making it a 5v3. Dunne waves to the back when the odds are stacked against him and making their main roster debut is Tyler Bate and Trent Seven, Moustache Mountain. Dunne, Bate and Seven were a trio on the indie scene called British Strong Style. With the numbers level at 5v5 the Brawling Brutes manage to fight back into the match and the 5 of them even carry Omos and bomb him through a table. Unfortunately for them though, it is not enough and Lashley does trap Dunne in his Hurt Lock for a submission win. Should be a fun match, plus a nice Wrestlemania debut for Bate and Seven. Seven gets released in the Summer of 2022 anyways, you can send Bate back to NXT to build him up as a singles guy before he comes up to the main roster permanently.

After Brock Lesnar finally makes his WWE return when the world sort of returns to normal, he returns at the end of Summerslam to have a confrontation with the current Universal champion, Drew McIntyre. Lesnar defeats McIntyre at Crown Jewel for the title to set up a showdown with the WWE champion Roman Reigns at Survivor Series, with the whole Paul Heyman story being in play. At Survivor Series, Heyman makes his decision clear by handing the WWE title to Roman to use against Brock, officially turning on his long-term client. Afterwards, Reigns and his cousins the Uso's rub salt in the wounds with a brutal beat down. After the Bloodline leaves, Lesnar slowly struggles to his feet as Big E's music hits. Big E comes down, cashes in his briefcase and defeats Brock to become the Universal champion for the first time. A great way to end the show. Lesnar has revenge on Reigns on his mind but he also wants a title rematch with Big E. Whilst all of this has been going on, one man has been quite vocal of his opinion on Brock Lesnar and takes any opportunity in interviews to name drop him, mock him and request a match with him. That man is the original bro, Matt Riddle. Riddle teases Lesnar asking if they have the same dealer (Riddle was banned from UFC for marijuana use and Lesnar was banned for performance enhancements), saying that he is better at MMA than he is (Riddle has an 8-3 record, Lesnar has a 5-3 record), just constant mocking but Lesnar never acknowledges him. I want this to be similar to when Chris Jericho constantly trash talked Goldberg in WCW in an attempt to get a match with him. Lesnar fails to defeat Big E at Day 1 so he enters the Royal Rumble. At the 2022 Royal Rumble, Matt Riddle is already in the ring when Brock Lesnar arrives. His face lights up with joy. Lesnar goes after everyone in the ring and again, ignores Riddles' existence. Riddle gets mad, he walks over to Brock and pulls him towards a stiff slap. Lesnar is not a happy bunny. He brutally assaults Riddle, but he gets far too overzealous and when he runs for a clothesline, both of them spill over the top rope. Lesnar eliminates himself, whilst Riddle holds on. Riddle laughs and taunts Lesnar, so Lesnar pulls him out and F-5's him through the announce table. Lesnar blames Riddle for his elimination and sets his sights on silencing this "loud mouthed RVD wannabe." Riddle says this is all he ever wanted, to step in the squared circle with "Broccoli Lesnar." He promises to outwrestle Lesnar and make him tap. Brock laughs at the thought. Their match at Wrestlemania is a MMA-wrestling hybrid, which is pretty hard to pull off but I think these two can pull it off. Have both men use a lot of wrestling early on with submission attempts but then sprinkle in some suplex offence too. Riddle holds his own in there, but the Beast is on another level and he finally shuts up Riddle with a barrage of suplexes and F-5s for a Wrestlemania win. This means we're not getting a Wrestlemania RK-Bro match but I am honestly fine with letting Orton sit out and recover his back injury. Then Lesnar can pick up his feud with Reigns heading into Summerslam for their awesome Last Man Standing match.

Talking about matches people have dreamed of, it is time to talk about Big E. Now I know that Big E was involved in a horrible accident in March of 2022 which broke his neck and possibly ended his wrestling career, hopefully he can make a recover at some point in his career. I usually don't like booking around an injury, especially a serious one like this, but I just really want to book Big E in a marquee Wrestlemania world title match. How my booking goes, he would never be in that scenario for it to happen, so I'm booking him for a match at Wrestlemania 38. I'm not going to book him for Wrestlemania 39, I want to respect the seriousness of the injury. Disclaimer out the way, Big E wins the Universal championship at Survivor Series and he defeats Brock Lesnar at Day 1, Drew McIntyre at the Royal Rumble and Kevin Owens at Elimination Chamber. With the Royal Rumble winner deciding to challenge WWE champion Roman Reigns, Big E has a certain opponent in mind. He wants to choose his opponent for Wrestlemania and it is a dream opponent of his. Bill Goldberg. Goldberg answers the challenge and accepts, though he promises that he won't be going easy on Big E even if he is a fan. Big E vs Goldberg at Wrestlemania is only 5-10 minutes long but that is all it has to be. Goldberg power moves, Big E power moves, the champion retains with a huge Big Ending. Goldberg raises Big E's hand after the match as a sign of respect. I don't really know how to book Big E from that so we'll just say the injury happens and he has to vacate the title? I'm sorry if that is awkward, Big E please return to wrestling in some capacity even if it is behind the announce desk.

Sasha Banks was the Smackdown Women's Champion coming out of Wrestlemania 37, I'd let her reign until Summerslam where she is challenged by a returning Becky Lynch. I know Sasha wasn't cleared to compete but you can have it play out how it did in real life then. Have Lynch score a shock squash win over Sasha to protect her from getting hurt. We don't even know why she wasn't cleared but it doesn't seem to be an injury. Becky Lynch slips back into her role as the man and reigns as SD champion for the rest of the year all the way until Elimination Chamber in 2022. After defending her title successfully in the Chamber match, Adam Pearce comes out and reveals that he has been ordered by senior management to introduce Becky Lynch's opponent for an impromptu match right here right now...Ronda Rousey. Ronda makes her in ring return and takes advantage of an absolutely gassed Becky, Ronda defeats Lynch in seconds, similar to how Lynch won the title from Sasha at Summerslam. Becky and Ronda have a war of words heading into Wrestlemania and set up a blockbuster singles match between the two, main eventing Night 1. After what I expect to be a 15+ minute banger, Becky Lynch defeats Ronda Rousey to win back her championship.

Night 2, Kevin Owens is back to trash talk Texas again, he openly challenges Steve Austin to come out and shut him up right now. No one comes out, Owens laughs and tells Texas that Austin isn't here because even he is embarrassed to be from Texas. We continue to hear Owens occasionally through the show run down the state.

The first match of night 2 is the Royal Rumble winner Bianca Belair challenging Raw Women's champion Charlotte Flair. Belair walked out of Wrestlemania 37 as the champion but she comes face to face with the Queen in a singles match for the first time at Extreme Rules. Charlotte defeats her to win the title and she questions whether Bianca really is the E-S-T, or if she is just another overhyped woman who had a some good luck. Charlotte demands Bianca prove that she is worthy of challenging her again. Belair does so in the best way possible, by entering the Royal Rumble at number 1 and winning the whole thing. She says it is time for her to prove that she doesn't need to be the queen to be the best. Belair and Charlotte have a banger to open up night 1 and Bianca gets the deserved victory, proving once and for all she deserves to hang in the main event scene of the women's division.

Smackdown Tag Champions the Uso's defend against Rey and Dominik Mysterio in a match all about family. The Bloodline call themselves the best wrestling family and every other wrestling family is redundant and not on their level. Rey Mysterio doesn't argue that the Anoa'i Family is legendary, but does not appreciate the disrespect they have placed on other family names. He and Dominik are not just fighting for their own pride, but they are fighting for the Guerreros, the Harts, the Von Erichs, the Windham/Rotunda's. Any wrestling family that pride themselves on their contributions to the sport. Rey and Dom put up a great fight, but Jey & Jimmy Uso are operating on a different level at this stage, they retain their championships.

The only match over Wrestlemania 38 that I have kept unchanged is Sami Zayn vs Johnny Knoxville. Ahh it is just so much fucking fun. The giant hand, the mouse trap, the wee man bodyslam spot. There was so much silliness but it worked and it was one of the better comedy matches I've ever seen. I'd keep everything about this the same.

Following that is the surprise WWE return of the American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes. With Rollins involved in the IC ladder match, who should be Rhodes' opponent? I can only think of one man really. A man who's story is pretty much the same as Cody's. A man who did not reach the heights he wanted to in WWE, was released and made a name for himself outside of the company, returning as a much bigger and better star. Of course I am talking about Drew McIntyre. Their paths were so similar that it just makes so much sense. So ahead of Wrestlemania 38 we start getting little glimpses of Drew McIntyre being a bit heelish. He talks about his destiny being the world champion and that he wants more than anything to get back to that position. He is still a face but he is being slightly arrogant about what he feels he is owed. Ahead of Wrestlemania he doesn't have an opponent but he is promised that he will have one worthy enough of the spot. Drew comes out and Rhodes' makes his grand return. Rhodes vs McIntyre should be an excellent match, of course Cody Rhodes still wins because it is his comeback match, he needs to win. It is a lot better than watching McIntyre vs Happy Corbin I'll tell you that for free!

Remember the midcard Women's title I created, the Evolutionary title? Don't worry, I haven't! I just wouldn't have it defended on PPV all that much, mainly used as a way for the rest of the women's division to have something to compete for when the main event scene is occupied. Going into Wrestlemania 38, I'd have Rhea Ripley be the champion and she defends it in a Fatal Four Way against Sasha Banks, Shayna Baszler and Liv Morgan. After a competitive 10+ minutes, I'd give Liv Morgan the victory scoring a huge pinfall over Sasha Banks for a big win for her. It is time Morgan gets her push up the card and Sasha is out of the company later in the year anyways so she can take the pin.

The scheduled main event for night 2 is WWE champion Roman Reigns defending against the Royal Rumble winner, Edge. Edge's primary objective since his return is to prove he still has it, making his way back to the top of the mountain and become world champion. He chose the WWE title over the Universal title because it is a championship he is very familiar with during his career. Edge believes he is the only one who can put an end to Roman's 1+ year reign, but the Tribal Chief doesn't agree. He thinks Edge has had a nice run coming back from injury, but has made a huge mistake coming for the Head of the Table. Reigns is going to make him wish that he never came back. Edge and Roman have a 20+ minute classic as we see the battle of the spears take place. I want to see the double spear spot because it looks cool. Reigns once again walks into Wrestlemania as WWE champion, then walks out of Wrestlemania as WWE champion. Edge was unable to achieve his goal, will he ever be able to reach the mountaintop again?

Kevin Owens comes out to sign off the show with one last fuck you to Texas, but he is interrupted by the iconic glass shattering of Steve Austin's entrance music. Austin heads down to the ring and poses in front of his home crowd. He defends Texas and runs down Owens on the mic before setting up their impromptu No Holds Barred match to end Night 2 on a positive note. Then we get what we got in real life, Owens and Austin having an ass-kicking brawl around the arena, ending with Austin dropping Owens with the stunner for the 1-2-3. Austin wins his first wrestling match in almost 20 years.

There we have it, that is how I would book Wrestlemania 38. Do you think I did a better job? At least we didn't get another dull ass Reigns vs Lesnar match right? Here is my booked card:

Night 1

Ricochet (c) vs Seth Rollins vs Chad Gable vs The Miz vs Shinsuke Nakamura vs Pat McAfee, Ladder match for IC Championship

Logan Paul vs AJ Styles

Finn Balor (c) vs Damian Priest, US Championship

Brawlin' Brutes vs Hurt Business, Good Ol' Fashioned Donnybrook

Matt Riddle vs Brock Lesnar

Big E (c) vs Goldberg, Universal Championship

Ronda Rousey (c) vs Becky Lynch, SD Women's Championship

Night 2

Charlotte Flair (c) vs Bianca Belair, Raw Women's Championship

The Uso's (c) vs Los Mysterios, SD Tag Championships

Sami Zayn vs Johnny Knoxville, Anything Goes

Cody Rhodes vs Drew McIntyre

Rhea Ripley (c) vs Sasha Banks vs Shayna Baszler vs Liv Morgan, Evolutionary Championship

Roman Reigns (c) vs Edge, WWE Championship

Steve Austin vs Kevin Owens, No Holds Barred

Let me know your thoughts and come back tomorrow for the final part of this booking series, Wrestlemania 39! It has been a journey, but we have finally arrived at last years Wrestlemania. Should Cody have finished his story? Is the reign of Roman getting tiresome? We'll cover it all tomorrow. See you then!


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