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  • Connor Ewens

Fantasy Booking: Wrestlemania VIII

I always forget about the matches on this show and I always wonder why. Bret Hart vs Roddy Piper was amazing, as was Randy Savage vs Ric Flair. Then I remember that Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice is one of the worst main events in Wrestlemania history and instantly remember why we forget about this show. Not only was it a bad match with little excitement and like 5 moves, but a botched Papa Shango run in causing an awkward kick out and a terrible DQ finish. Even the return of the Ultimate Warrior couldn't save this shit show. Here is the card:

Shawn Michaels vs Tito Santana

The Undertaker vs Jake Roberts

Roddy Piper (c) vs Bret Hart, IC Championship

Big Bossman, Virgil, Sgt. Slaughter & Jim Duggan vs The Mountie, Repo Man & Nasty Boys (Jerry Sags & Brian Knobbs)

Ric Flair (c) vs Randy Savage, WWF Championship

Tatanka vs Rick Martel

Money Inc. (c) vs Natural Disasters, Tag Championships

Owen Hart vs Skinner

Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice

Some good stuff, plenty of bad stuff. The most glaring issue is that WWE did not book the most blockbuster main event in wrestling. Ric Flair vs Hulk Hogan. Well, Hogan can't politick his way out of my fantasy booking, brother. WWE, here is how I would have booked it.

The show begins with the tradition of an eliminator to determine a challenger for a championship tonight. These have really saved me from booking terrible matches on shows. This one will be for the Tag Championships. The Natural Disasters Earthquake and Typhoon take on the mish-mash team of Owen Hart and Sid Justice. Sid never turns heel, he stays as a face because he is popular for some reason. Pair him with a great wrestler like Owen to protect him from exposing his weaknesses. Owen is a great partner for anyone to have, he is good enough to carry any slack. Owen bumps and sells like a boss, Sid can have flurries of power and defeats Typhoon with a chokeslam.

The other eliminator has the Nasty Boys taking on a team I call Demolition of Doom. Ax is out of the company and Hawk got suspended before this show. I would not have Smash repackaged as the awful Repo Man. have Smash and Animal form a loose alliance but they struggle to always be on the same page. Nasty boys win after a miscommunication. Both Animal and Smash end up brawling out the building.

Next, I have British Bulldog vs Jake Roberts. Have Roberts target Bulldog and call him as cold and vindictive as he is. Why? For adopting the name British Bulldog without his original tag partner. He applauds Bulldog for his selfish behaviour, that is what it takes to be a star in this company. Bulldog says he adopted the name out of respect for the success they had together, he is not taking the success for his own. Roberts stays in control with cheap heel tactics, but the Brit-dog wins with the powerslam, keeping his momentum going as he heads towards his IC title win at Summerslam 1992.

With Flair vs Hogan being the main attraction, that leaves Savage without an opponent. How about...Shawn Michaels? That is a match I can get behind. So, Savage "retires" at Wrestlemania VII and gets kayfabe married to his wife already, Miss Elizabeth. In late 1991, we have the taping of the famous Barber Shop heel turn with Shawn Michaels going solo. His feud with Jannetty is cancelled due to legal issues for the less-successful Rocker. Let's have Sensational Sherri immediately become HBK's valet and that is our story. Sherri brags about HBK being a talented stud. Many compare him as 'the next Randy Savage' but she says he is superior to the 'Macho Bland' in every way imaginable. Definite implied sexual connotations. After weeks and weeks of goading by Michaels and Sherri, Savage snaps and attacks him. He is fined for his actions since he is no longer an active wrestler, he is not suspended but warned he cannot lay fingers on the talent as an announcer. After more taunting, HBK finally takes it too far and shows edited photos of him alongside Miss Elizabeth, kinda like what Flair did. Randy snaps and he begs president Jack Tunney for a match with him. Tunney says he cannot have a match when he is an active he temporarily suspends Savage as an announcer until further notice, booking this match. I have full faith this would be an amazing match with a good pay off to the intense feud. Michaels should get the win to boost his stock, and I would have him beat Savage with his own diving elbow drop. 1 Superkick and 2 diving elbow's, Michaels wins a huge match in his early career.

The Tag Eliminator finals between Nasty Boys and Hart & Sid follows that. Keep this short because 3/4 wrestlers aren't very good, Hart scores a pinfall to earn his team the title shot.

Big Boss Man vs The Mountie. I would basically have their Summerslam 1991 match take place here instead. Have the Mountie win a normal match at Summerslam, Boss Man's team beat Mountie's team at Survivor Series, Mountie eliminates Boss Man from the Rumble, finally this match. Mountie tries his ways, but the powerful policeman gets himself a win and locks up the Mountie in jail.

The Undertaker goes 2-0 at Wrestlemania after defeating Rick Martel. Like I said last time, smaller, nimbler opponents work better with Taker. The Deadman is a face now, so let's have Martel be disgusted by Taker and his ghoulish appearance. He tries to knock him out long enough to put fancier clothes on him or spray him with aftershave but the Undertaker is always back conscious before anything happens. Here, we get a nice little match as Martel tries to fight his best and run away but there is no stopping the reaper of souls.

Bret Hart challenges Roddy Piper for the IC championship like real life. The only thing that changes is the journey here. Bret holds the IC championship from Summerslam 1991 until Royal Rumble 1992. Have Piper defeat Hart with a flash roll-up. The feud is built on who is a better wrestler. Hart respects Piper but think his win was lucky. Piper is pissed by this, he doesn't care if Hart is the excellence of execution, he outwrestled him. Piper challenges him to a submissions only match. We get the same epic that we got in real life, except in the finish, Roddy Piper taps out cleanly to the Sharpshooter. The first and the only time Piper ever submits. He shakes and raises the hand of Bret at the end, putting over Bret as the next major star in the company.

Owen Hart & Sid challenge Money Inc. for their tag championships. I would have the face team put up a good fight, but ultimately the heels cheat to win thanks to Jimmy Hart being a knob. Sid can give all 3 men chokeslams after to regain their heat.

So, it is time for the biggest match in wrestling. Ric Flair vs Hulk Hogan. Following Wrestlemania VII, Mr Perfect takes time off after losing the WWF championship. He returns but doesn't wrestle at Summerslam with Bobby Heenan. They call Hogan a disgrace of a world champion and promise that the real world champion will be here to take his place at the top of the WWF. Hype it like they did for real, then have Ric Flair debut like he did because it was pretty epic, even if it landed the Fed in legal trouble. He parades the WCW championship around and says he will face up with Hogan one day. At Survivor Series, Undertaker vs Hulk Hogan ends in a no contest thanks to interference from Ric Flair and Mr Perfect, Bret Hart runs out to help Hogan because good guys stick together. Due to the nature of the match, Jack Tunney vacates the WWF title. I know, it's not the best but the whole Hogan vs Undertaker stuff wasn't good and we need the title to be vacant somehow for the Royal Rumble 1992. Tuesday in Texas can just be a tag match between the 4 mentioned minus Undertaker. We have the amazing Royal Rumble match untouched except for the finish. Flair still at number 3, Hogan enters at number 30. Heenan on commentary can really use that to push the 'unfair to Flair' arc. Men are eliminated one by one until we have the stare down. Flair. Hogan. The last two remaining. Hogan looks poised to win but a heel trip by Mr Perfect distracts him, Flair takes out Hogan and wins the WWF Championship. Their feud continues to Wrestlemania, Flair continues to call himself the 'real' world champion and that Hogan is not on his level. Hogan looks to finally settle the score at Wrestlemania.

Hogan vs Flair should go down similarly to how WCW did it at Bash at the Beach in 1994. An even contest with both men hitting their greatest hits and overcoming signature moves. Hogan was new to WCW and went over their top star. Here, Flair is the new face and he should go over the top star. Flair successfully defeats Hogan to retain his world championship. After this, you can run Flair vs Savage with the Macho Man winning the title at Summerslam, then dropping the title back to Flair ahead of Survivor Series where he can drop to the title to Bret Hart because we need them in a major PPV match before they meet in WCW when the booking was bollocks.

That is it, a full rehash of Wrestlemania VIII with a far superior main event and a much better card. I think this has potential to be the best Wrestlemania show at the time compared to the previous shows. Here is a card recap:

Owen Hart & Sid Justice vs Natural Disasters, Tag Eliminator

Nasty Boys vs Demolition of Doom, Tag Eliminator

British Bulldog vs Jake Roberts

Randy Savage vs Shawn Michaels

Owen Hart & Sid Justice vs Nasty Boys, Tag Eliminator Finals

Big Boss Man vs The Mountie

The Undertaker vs Rick Martel

Roddy Piper (c) vs Bret Hart, Submission match for IC Championship

Money Inc. (c) vs Owen Hart & Sid Justice, Tag Championships

Ric Flair (c) vs Hulk Hogan, WWF Championship

What do you think? Do you agree this is far superior? Lemme know what you think and come back tomorrow for a rebooking of one of the worst WWE PPVs ever, Wrestlemania IX. Until then, see ya!


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